You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
