i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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