so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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