why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
