Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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