What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
