Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
