I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
North Korea, Best Korea!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
