i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
