Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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