So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
bring money and cleavage
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
