Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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