Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
