he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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