:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
