shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
