Your mouth is God's brothel.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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