I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
