Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
