it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
