i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
