Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I won the penis lottery.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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