Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
