I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If that was your dad, he is hot
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
