Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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