We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
