The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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