Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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