508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
