Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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