Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
