He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
