Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
