: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You are a genius and a whore.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
