is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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