What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
