At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
