Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
