What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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