I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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