im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
