Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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