new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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