I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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