You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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