Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
