They should really pass out barf bags in church
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
