Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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