i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
