Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
