My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
