no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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