I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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